Ariela Zuniga- A&E Writer

Jay-Z American Gangster CD Review Second Draft

November 20, 2007 · 1 Comment

Categories: Uncategorized

1 response so far ↓

  • alexco09 // November 21, 2007 at 12:05 am

    Ariela, once again, you’re a great review writer!!!! The only thing i have to say about your second draft is that i had a little bit of trouble determining what ti was you were reviewing in the first few paragraphs. At first, i thought it was that movie with denzel, and then Jay-z is referred to as another name. I understand that there are the factors of the album, BUT i want you to clarify it a little bit more in your writing. If you’d like, spoon feed it into the writing, and later, we’ll make it sound more complex in our editing process. It’s easier for us to build something than to have to break it down and THEN build it. get me? let me know if you have any questions.

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